Conscious Marriage

I finally finished Dance of Love. Verdict: I agree with the ending in finding your other half who shares your belief or spirituality because it is much easier to raise a family when both parents have similar core values and belief system - "The mind seeks an easy relationship; the heart seeks a spiritual partner. The more a relationship supports each person in awakening to a spiritual aspect, the more expansive, spontaneous, wonderful and passionate it will be."

The next book I'm reading has a similar ring to it "Conscious Marriage: A New Model for Making Marriage Work". Stay tuned.

P/S #1: I will definitely read Unconventional, recommended by the author himself, J.J [thanks for adding me to your Shelfari contact list and for your word of encouragement!]

P/S #2: Happy birthday to dear Luke :)

Love is All Around

"Give me tranquillity, calm the storm that exists in my skin. Give me springs to enjoy, days that go away don't have to return. It can be the voice of your peace and love... help me to change today and make me be better."

The evening jog to Cascadale and back did some good. The moral of the story for the week - strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday. I'll end this short post with a song by Robbie Williams:

P.S: It was nice catching up with mum, who just got back from KL.

More 2 Life

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Opportunities presented themselves to me this week. Just when I was mentally toying with the idea of 'greener pastures', offers came a knocking, partly due to the visibility I get via my LinkedIn account. Allah knows what is best for me and with time, the story will unravel itself, so stay tuned! I’ll end this post with a nice video (depicting my current state of mind at this juncture).

P.S: The networking tonight with the corporate group went well. Given a choice, I'd rather spend more quality time with my family and lil cousins (miss you guys, focus on your exams and we'll have a blast afterwards)

Keep the Faith

Today shall be a short post. I leave you with this nice melody (English version here) by talents from our shores, enjoy!

On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property. As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. - Emmanuel Teney

Patience

Someday, maybe there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. - Eric Erickson

Today, I felt compelled to share my thoughts about a topic close to my heart - children. With the impending divorce surrounding a friend and a cousin, instinctively my heart goes out to the children who probably won't truly understand why is there a need for dad and mum to live in two separate places. Mum said there are many factors that make or break a family unit such as external factors (outside 'distractions', extended family, etc) or internal undercurrents due to the lack of communication or a clash in personalities and values.

And that a marriage can withstand the test of time if there is a genuine connection between two persons, complemented by honesty, integrity, solid communication and that willingness to keep working on the relationship. Hold steadfastly to your faith and be close to Allah SWT as you go about your role, right mum?

With the best of intentions, I pray that I would have the constant faith and patience and not put my future kids through such an ordeal, so help me God, Ameen!

Halal.Haram.Syubha.

Just had a discussion with my uncle about chocolates. Its not easy just by looking at the ingredients to see if the product contains halal ingredients because halal also encompasses the process of making the product.

For illustrative purpose, I used to LURVE Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Bueno and Nutella...Found out that Ferrero products can be haram due to the following ingredients:

Soya lecithin E322
These are emulsifiers obtained from animal or vegetable materials through physical procedures. Most lecithins are commercially obtained from soya beans. MUIS classify this as Shubha by way of its source or manufacturing process; advised to avoid products with this ingredient.
Source - MUIS list of additives pdf

Calf rennet
Rennet is used to make cream, butter, cheese, drinks, etc and is extracted from animal stomach and is Halal (in the form of cheese, etc) even when extracted from an animal that has not been slaughtered Islamically according to Hazrat Imam Abu Hanifah (rahmatullahialay) BUT it is better to abstain from it and whey carries the same ruling.
Source - Muslim Food Guide, page 10, 2000

Whey powder
Whey is a product of the clotting of milk.

Halal Status of Whey
The media and the type of rennet may influence the halal status of whey produced from them.

The following are the requirements for us to be sure that the whey is halal:
- Mother culture media has to be halal.
- Bulk culture media has to be halal.
- Microbial rennet preparation has to be used.
- Dryers where liquid whey is dried to make whey solid or powder should not be used to dry animal based media and rennet whey to avoid contamination.

It is advised that we restrict ourselves to only halal or kosher certified whey as shown by the halal or kosher symbols such as UD, KD, and COR.

Non-halal or Kosher certified whey made even with non-animal based media and microbial rennet is not recommended because the cheese manufacturer can change the media and rennet source any time without notifying Muslim consumers.

The enzyme most commonly used to make cheese is rennet, which comes from the stomach of calves. The rennet is Halal if the calf was slaughtered according to Islamic requirements. Whey prepared with microbial enzymes is Halal. Whey is used in processed foods such as crackers. Call the food manufacturer to determine the source of the whey.

Another source indicated that some Ferrero products from UK are halal:
Ferrero UK Limited
Halal – Kinder – Bueno, Chocolate, Surprise; Tic Tac – Fresh Mint, Lime/Orange, Orange
Ferrero Rocher Chocolates – contains calf whey powder/syrup

Yet another source have indicated ingredients such as alcohol flavourings which can be halal (alcohol halal? hmm) or haram (containing calf rennet).

Conclusion:
It is not easy to find UK made chocs (saw some at Guardian but on rare occassions). So as a precautionary measure, always check if the 3 ingredients mentioned above are present. It is better to err on the side of caution, don't you think?

A non-muslim pal asked before why is it important for Muslims to eat halal? Islam is a religion, which encourages its practitioners to eat halal and safe food from Allah's bounty.

Just the thought of 'tainting' my system with haram food and then prostrating to Allah SWT with a 'tainted' body just does not cut it for me. We have to submit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to be a true a Muslim or Muslima.

After all, we live but a mere few seconds on this earth... such supposedly 'incoveniences' when weighed on the scale are insignificant to the life we look forward to in Jannah, insya Allah :)

Walla hualam bissawab

Birthday Boy Irfan

Here's my warmest birthday wish to Irfan *muah*

Allow me to share this quote (thanks to u, u know who u are):

In modesty and humility, be like the earth.
In tolerance, be like the sea.
In generosity and helping others, be like the river.
In compassion and grace, be like the sun.
In concealing others' faults, be like the night.
And in anger and fury, be like the dead.

Approval & Blessings

The prudence of the best heads is often defeated by the tenderness of the best of hearts - Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)

When I saw this nice quote, it immediately brought me back to the discussion I had with a dear old friend over the weekend. No matter how obstinate a stubborn parent is, once tended with constant tenderness by the best intentions, things will fall into place. I wish him all the best :)

It was nice spending a quiet evening with mum. Hope you love the specs!

Dance of Love

"Relationship is a powerful, often dizzying dance of polarities - sometimes delightful and seductive, sometimes fierce and combative, sometimes energizing, sometimes exhausting... The dance of relationship always involves alterations - between coming together and moving apart, taking hold and letting go, yielding and taking the lead, giving ourselves and maintaining integrity. It is not an easy dance to learn. Many people soon loose the rythm and wind up deadlocked in opposing positions, knowing only how to attack or withdraw."

Most books talk about "What's wrong with relationships and how we can fix them?" and the beauty of this book is that it focuses on "What's right about relationships that are already working successfully?" with concrete examples from real couples the author interviewed for this book.

Relationships or any form of commitment for that matter, are never easy... so is marriage, both parties have to work on it. The love experience is largely that of our own essence, as it is evoked by the presence of the other. Presence means presenting our own essence, taking off the masks and defenses, having our hearts open. It is the commitment to work diligently on their relationships, to persevere in resolving any difficulties and to consistently support each other.

I love the use of analogy of yoga to describe relationships - relationship requires awareness, focus, intent and consistent practice.It teaches us to stretch and strengthen parts of ourselves, to take unfamiliar positions while remaining centered and in balance, to direct our energy in new ways and to relax. We have the choice to be protective and avoid pain, or to open and learn to work with it. Yoga is challenging and invigorating, hard work and great fun. It gets easier and brings new insights as we move along the path. And it requires... commitment, commitment to integrity, to embrace our wholeness and the wholeness of our partner... seeing the oneness while seeking resolution of differences, without attempts at manipulating one to satisfy the other.

Hmm, the book asks if you have been in a relationship where in large or small ways, agreeing to things that you don't want to do? How often do you lie about your feelings or behaviour for fear of rejection, anger, loss, pain or hurting someone's feelings? And how often are you able to maintain your integrity in the face of those fears? These are questions worth exploring.

The books encourages us to practice the Voice Dialogue - recognising our inner selves: the pusher, pleaser, controller, critic, vulnerable child, rebel, good parent, and many more. Giving the various selves a voice helps us discover what each one feels and thinks, what it needs and what it has to offer. Some of these are primary selves, those which we most value and identify with as who we are. Opposite each primary self is a disowned self, one which we judge as bad or deny exists. When some selves take exclusive control and others are shut down, inaccessible, we are automatically out of integrity. All aspects of our wholeness want to be recognised, accepted and integrated in some way.

Interestingly, our partners will often embody the selves we disown (polar opposites attract) and this can be a source of great conflict for couples or else they can come to appreciate that each partner holds an energy that the couple needs to develop... bottomline we need to look out for complementary characteristics in that each partner brought balance and new ways of being for the other to integrate - the key: allowance, agreeing and disagreeing at times. And being mindful or one's Aware Ego is the central aspect of personality which recognises and honors all the many facets of ourselves, consciously choosing which energies to bring into expression at a given time.

I've just finished chapter 2 of chapter 9 and what I gather from this book is that relationships require self-awareness, persistence, flexibility, patience and lots of honest communication, which is the subject of the the subsequent chapters so stay tuned!

Mum's wishes

It has been an interesting few months. Only good tidings await and I'm ready for them.

Today shall be a short post. I just want to wish mum a wonderful birthday. Just like any other day, today is a day to say thank you especially for all that you do. It's a day to bless you, for all that you do especially for just being you.

PS: Enjoyed the outing with my young cousins... it was a blast! Let's do this again :)

Love Maths

1 x 8 + 1 = 91
2 x 8 + 2 = 9812
3 x 8 + 3 = 987123
4 x 8 + 4 = 98761234
5 x 8 + 5 = 9876512345
6 x 8 + 6 = 987654123456
7 x 8 + 7 = 98765431234567
8 x 8 + 8 = 9876543212345678
9 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

Brilliant, isn't it? And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 111 x 11 = 1211
11 x 111 = 123211
111 x 1111 = 12343211
1111 x 11111 = 1234543211
11111 x 111111 = 123456543211
111111 x 1111111 = 12345676543211
1111111 x 11111111 = 1234567876543211
11111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this...101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%. How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R ST U V W X Y Z
Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 1617 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If: H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And: K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+ 4+7+5 = 96%

But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top! Subhan Alllah!

Eco Living

I'm inspired by the Project7Ten documentary that showcases eco-friendly homes hence this post.

For skeptics, this is no gimmick; LEED certification program actually makes self-sustaining home that is kinder to your pockets while benefiting human kind in the long run:

• Lower operating costs and increase asset value
• Reduce waste sent to landfills
• Conserve energy and water
• Be healthier and safer for occupants
• Reduce harmful greenhouse gas emissions
• Qualify for tax rebates, zoning allowances and other incentives in hundreds of cities
• Demonstrate an owner's commitment to environmental stewardship and social responsibility

It is easy to live eco-friendly life by starting with purchasing home appliances, clothes such as Stewart & Brown, food, etc. For home appliances, Energy Star lists energy- and money-saving appliances that is environmental friendly while Australia has energy efficient programs such as energy rating, home packages with rebates, REES makes homes energy smart. Singapore enegy labelling scheme kickstarts April 2009 and Singapore is cultivating energy smart hotels, offices and retail malls, ... a good start, finally! Would you get started?

Silent Hero

Time and again, human nature tends to veer towards the unnecessary. Celebrate in life instead of criticize, coz in death, wouldn't it be too late? I end my post with poignant excerpts from the song Gone Too Soon:

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day, Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon,
Gone Too Soon...

Verses of love

I read the book before I watched the DVD with my family and it clicked. Unconditional love means loving the Creator above all coz nothing truly belong to us as our lives on earth are a mere test of our conviction and faith. Allow me to leave you with the OST from the movie, enjoy!



PS: The couple that fights the most is the one most in love... it shows they care enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention it to the person so they can fix it. When you stop fighting it means you stopped caring. So, to the lovely couple, happy birthday :)

Accidental hero

Today, upon reaching home, mum told me that my youngest nephew was hospitalised. He had second degree burn from scalding. Mother and child will remain in the hospital for further observation. My heart went out to my nephew.

Accidents happen to the best of us and I hope my sister-in-law does not get too caught up with the feeling of guilt; everyone wants to be the best parent for his or her child.

There is hikmah in all situations. Perhaps, we will be more mindful in ensuring a safe haven for our children at home. For a start, read this article on preventing scald burns.

Choices . Time . Decision .

A poignant moment calls for a poignant message via a poignant song. Profound? Its ok, don't psycho-analyse. Enjoy this nice melody :)

Morning light...

As I gazed at the morning sun rising from the east, sipping my coffee, with the daily news in my left hand... I wonder when was the last time I stopped to smell the roses.

I guess just like in the past years, with the kickstart of my 12 projects, would the days pass me by so swiftly that I'll lose track of what's important to me? My heart is weighing heavy on the days to come, partly due to the transition in power, partly due to the uncertainties ahead... I have to get rid of this melancholy. Hmm, for those reading this, sorry... this is just a vent. Regardless, don't let life's little pleasures pass you by. Enjoy this nice melody while you are at it...



PS: Happy birthday Aunt Z, Grandma & 'Precious'.

Read Right!

Subhan Allah. When I read the book Read Right, it truly shows that the brain is an amazing organ. Dr Tadlock is right. Sometimes we do not give ourselves or our babies or kids enough credit in the ability to 'softwire' the brain towards excellence. Perhaps its the social stigma or the lack of knowledge. I'd recommend this book to first-time parents... a must read! :)

Not good at it...

Heller Keller used to say, "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched but are felt in the heart". Then Blake Pascal added, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of".

Today I had an awkward situation. Why was it hard to just come out and say it like it is? I guess its partly coz I could not vibe or read what the other party is truly thinking or even feeling. I'm not good at this and have never been good at it.

Yes, I'm straightforward when it comes to giving opinions or perspective but when it boils down to expressing my own feelings about something dear to me, I get tongue tied. Why? Its not like I do not know what I want and what I do not want. I think I have clearly communicated this.

Perhaps its the traditonal gal in me or that its too soon. Give it time, zah... insya Allah, when the moment is right, the words will naturally flow both ways.

P/S: Meanwhile, grams, forgive me for buying time... I promise this time, its gonna be right. Be there please... insya Allah.

Raising A Reader

My recent project requires me to research on how to instil the love of reading in kids. A book that I've just read is Read to me: raising kids who love to read . The author generally outlines the profile of each age group and recommended books to facilitate the joy of reading at their level. Other good reads include They're never too young for books: A guide to Children's Books for Ages 1 to 8 and Effective Reading Strategies.

I'm sold on the benefits reading early has on a child's mental and emotional development. And it is important that the whole family is sold on this idea such that reading becomes a central part of everyday family life.

Doing this project makes me wonder... will I be a good mother and educator to my future kids? Subhan Allah, motherhood is such a fulfilling vocation and I pray that I will have the opportunity to experience it, insya Allah.

Home

This week has been a blast, spending time with those who matter most to me. I was asked the question recently "Where is home?"... Simply put, its where your heart is :)

Let me end this short post with a nice video music by one of my fave artist, Michael Buble with a song aptly called "Home".

Cyber Safety

I'm so thankful to Allah SWT that recently we embarked on a project called Cyber Safety. I've learnt alot and applied the tips to ensure that I protect myself and the interest of those close to me from 'mistaken identities'.

After awhile, you just get good at sniffing lies upon lies... with technology, it gets so much easier. And at the end of the day, always trust your instincts especially after istikhara :)

Made to Stick

I simply love this book "Made to Stick". All marketers out there - yeah you - this is one read not to be missed. All you need to do is apply the simple SUCCESs principles in all that you do and voila.

Simple: Find and share the Core
Unexpected: Get attention (remember AIDA?) through surprise and hold the attention/interest
Concrete: Help people understand, remember and coordinate
Credible: Help people believe (internal and external credibility)
Emotional: Make people care, use the power of associations, appeal to self-interest and identity
Stories: Get people to act

With the use of these principles, we need to also be mindful of symptoms such as the curse of knowledge, decision paralysis, etc.

Vote Earth!

I'm so heartened to know that my organisation is participating in Earth Hour.

Vote earth! Your light switch is your vote
Date: 28 March 2009
Time: 8.30pm to 9.30pm (your local time)

Look out for the results at the Global Climate Change Conference 2009.

Everybody can play a part in preserving the only planet we have. For example:

1. Go to LibraryPressDiplay and read global digital newspapers vs printed newspapers
2. Cut your showertime by a minute and save 9 litres of water
3. Use less paper because to produce 1 kg of paper demands 300 litres of water

You have a choice. You can make a difference. So make a concerted effort. Help us help ourselves and our future kids.

Humility

In life, what truly matters is neither the riches of the earth nor the title to a name but the outreach of a helping hand of a kindred spirit, a stranger who is colour blind yet sees clearly from the heart. You won't know when you need help so live life with humility. Truly, everything you have on this earth belongs to the Almighty.

Let me end this short post with a nice poem by Oliver Goldsmith, "The Deserted Village" especially this part:

Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey,
Where wealth accumulates, and men decay.
Princes and lords may flourish, or may fade;
A breath can make them, as a breath has made:
But a bold peasantry, their country’s pride,
When once destroy’d, can never be supplied.

Moving On...

The past year has been, in retrospect, a trying year but I'm not complaining coz I feel that things happened for a reason and the Almighty knows what is best for me.

Looking back, work has been fulfilling and in the midst of my hectic work schedule, I managed to take time off and spend it with mum... just the two of us, something which I truly appreciate as it brought us closer.

With the end of Maulidur Rasul, a new chapter of my life begins. And I'm truly looking forward to what life has to offer... it would simply be beautiful. Let me leave you with a compilation of inspirational poems...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. And don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams. Granted, the past cannot be changed, but the future is still in your power and the only place where dreams are impossible is in your own mind. As you travel through life, your dreams will guide you, determination will get you there, and love will provide the greatest scenery of all. So forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile."

Words

There were times when words are not enough to salvage a situation because they lack genuine meaning. And then there were times when not enough were being said, which even actions could not make up for them; the well-meaning intentions buried under the silence.

Through it all, human beings are still creatures of habit - they wanted to be told and reminded on a regular basis that they are needed or loved. Not many people are comfortable with the silent undying love, with the old ways of 'actions speak louder than words'...

The answer is clear, everyone has insecurities and fear and it is precisely that fear... yes, the fear of being taken for granted, the fear that the love has gone, the fear of losing the familiar, unless the vow or promise is renewed.

The Lucky One

I've just finished reading Nicholas Sparks' "The Lucky One". I could especially relate to how Beth and Logan felt about destiny. As wierd as it may sound, and as 'freaky-wierd' first impression Beth had about Logan, he turned out to be the perfect gentleman, my kinda man. I wish there were more of such love stories in the world, its morbid enough as it is. If only life can be that simple... actually it is, its all in our psyche... Anyway, its time to update my shelfari....

Verses of love

I managed to read the book before I watched the movie and it clicked! No love is greater than the love for the ONE and taking care of God's creation on earth is but just one of our duties, regardless if the outcome is reciprocal or otherwise. Because the fundamental point is that nothing truly belongs to us and our lives are but mere tests of our faith, subhan Allah. I leave you with the soundtrack from the movie, enjoy :)



PS: Happy birthday to the lovely couple, you know who you are ;P

Reflection for 2009

I'd like to share the following poem with you, to commemorate the beginning of the new Islamic year. Maal Hijrah to all :)

The Difference

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray,
Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task,
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered,
God answered, "You didn't ask".

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
But the day toiled on grey and bleak,
I wondered why God didn't show me,
God said, "You didn't seek".

I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock,
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn't knock".

I woke up early this morning,
And paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray.

Believe

Mum taught me never to give up hope and to have faith... when you truly believe, every challenge you face will meet its resolution. How true.

Rest In Peace

When I heard the news that we've lost mama, it brought back memories of when I lost grams. My only regret was that I've not had a chance to meet and know her in person, a strong woman who tended to her kids with unconditional love. May Allah bless her soul.

Tribute to Mama

Deep sadness encapsulates me today. If only time could stand still and not rob us from spending moments with the one we love. A mother's son, torn and battered by the sharp knives of hurt and deceit, from the same blood that flows within him, prevents him from comforting the soul, whose eyes refuse to close until the heart is at peace in the arms of her dearly beloved. Oh Angels from the heaven above, comfort Ane and keep her safe from harm's way. A lifetime of regret shall not prevail this time please God...

Sharing...

Today will be a short post...

"Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.

Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."

- Scott Peck

See you soon

Recently, I've received news that a good talent might be migrating to New Zealand. Deep down, I'm elated to hear the news and am excited as I await the impending confirmation... simply because I had a part to play in that - I was one of his referees - for the great guy and talent that he is, he deserves this big break. The more slow-paced life would provide more quality time for him and his wife and help them start building their own family. What can I say, I'm a sucker for family values.

Secretly, I'm praying and hoping that I would get to start one of my own, soon... :) Stay tuned!

Welcome Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah (Thanks to Allah), the month for tafakkur (reflection) and muhasabah (self-evaluation) is here again. May we all benefit from this month which is full of barakah (blessings).

Three Weeks With Mum...

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Inspirational!

I was movingly inspired by the determination, humility and wit of this brilliant and wonderful man, the late Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008). I learnt a great deal from anecdotes he shared during his last lecture on September 18, 2007 called "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" especially how to achieve their own career and personal goals.

It has been my dream to study at Carnegie Mellon simply because of its well-designed curriculum and the right spirit to learning the fun way... Some beautiful quotes include:

"The inspiration and the permission to dream as a child is huge and will have a huge impact later on in life."

"The brick walls are there for a reason: They let us prove how badly we wanted things and stop the people who don't want it bad enough. So don't bail, the best gold is at the bottom of the barrels of crap."

"When you're pissed off at somebody and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time... give them time and they would almost always impress you"

"You're gonna get the fundamentals down, otherwise the other fancy stuff ain't gonna work."

"When you're screwing up and nobody is saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up... because your critics are the ones who tell you that they still love you to death."

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

"It is easy to look smart when you are parroting smart people."

"There's both ways of saying 'I don't know' but there's a good way and a bad way to say the same thing."

"You obviously don't know where the bar should be and you would do your students a disservice by putting the bar anywhere."

"If you are doing pioneering project/initiatives, you will get those arrows in the back and you'll just have to put up with it."

"The best gift an eduator can give is to get someone to become self reflective."

"The way people perceive you will limit what you're gonna accomplish in life."

"Loyalty is a two-way street."

"When it comes to men who have a romantic interest in you, just ignore everything they say and pay attention to everything they do... its that simple."

"How to get people to help you: believe in karma, tell the truth, be earnest (its better to be earnest than hip because hip is short term and earnest is long term), apologise when you screw up, focus on others, not yourself."

"Get a feedback loop and listen to it."

"No one is all evil; everyone has a good side... just keep waiting and it'll come out."

"Be good at something, it makes you valuable. Work hard but discover what's your secret."

"Be prepared: luck is where preparation meets opportunity. If you live your life the right way, karma will take care of the rest, the dreams will come to you."

For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

Btw, there was a mention that Entertainment Technology Centre (ETC) Academy will be in Singapore soon. This is really cool news!

Merhaba Turkey...

I'm overwhelmed with a mixture of feelings as I go ahead to plan and finalise the itinerary of my Turkey trip... everything happens for a reason and along the way, I've met pretty wonderful and beautiful people who are so kind as to help me with my itinerary... they've provided great insights from locals' standpoint and I even met my 'sister' whom is currently married to a Turkish man... can't wait to introduce her to mum, soon... its just another 2 weeks more!

I've decided that today would be a short post... back to planning my itinerary :)

Well-meaning Intentions

I've heard so much about how love works in mysterious ways. I'm not an expert in that department but I'm trying to figure out how to put it across to people who matters to me that I don't go into something blind-sided by emotions.

I admit in the past, I was overwhelmed by the raw emotions and gave in to the moment and ignoring the red flags. Who doesn't, especially when you are 'young and reckless'? And I need family and friends who matter to me to caution and advise me when something is amiss because sometimes you are so into it that you are blind-sided.

Which is why Islam is beautiful, where marriage is concerned, its not just about me and my future husband, its a family thing and there are ways to a permanent marriage if we take the time to learn and seek knowledge about it, for example rights of husband and wife.

Mum gave a good advice - "If he is a respectable man, he'll follow the Islamic way of proposing and ask for your hand." So think long term... forget about romance, do I see myself growing old with a man I'd call hubby? Do I see him by my side if I fall ill... would he clean after me? Can he be my support system especially since mum won't be there for me? Is it worth my while uprooting myself for him?

Only your mum would hit you at the core and ask the difficult questions and make you seriously reflect on things. With Israk Mikraj round the corner, it is a good time to do Istikharah. May Allah guide me to the straight path and protect me from the hell's fire, Insya Allah! As they say, "Everything happens for a reason". I believe in that.

Count your blessings...

Just last week, besides witnessing my cousin's wedding at Johore, we celebrated my elder brother's birthday... the extended family was there. And today, I celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday.

At a recent management gathering, our group head brought across the point that you shall never forget to count your blessings on a daily basis because these precious gift would be erased by time and you could never retrieve that moment ever again. It struck me that I got to live life day by day, moment by moment and embrace life as it comes with all my heart.

Don't Be Sad...

A note to me:

"Love the one who is beloved to you in due moderation, for perhaps the day will come when you will abhor him. And hate the one whom you detest in due moderation, for perhaps the day will arrive when you will come to love him" - Prophet (pbuh)

The pleasures of life are short-lived, and more often than not, they are followed by sorrow. Life means responsibility, a journey wherein change is constant and difficulties are relentless in their onslaught. The Prophet (pbuh) said:

"This world is cursed along with all that is in it, except for these: the remembrance of Allah, what follows (i.e. good deeds and whatever Allah loves), the scholar and the student."

With that, I accept life as it is and adapt accordingly to all circumstances and live today free from sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy and malice coz today may be my last day to live. The past has departed and is gone, I will not cry over it and the future is in the realm of the unforseen, so I will not be obsessed by it. I will count my blessings and live in the current and make the best of it, insya Allah.

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

I wanted to save this book and read it on my way to Turkey but that is another story altogether. I love the story as it centers around coping with love lost, rebirth, keeping faith and never giving up. Coincidentally, recently I learnt a valuable lesson on trusting your instincts more than you allow yourself to. In other words, stop being so 'anal' i.e. its ok to let your mind shoot irrelevant questions in your head; just don't blurt it out unnecessarily. Roger!

Anyway, every time I pick up a Nicholas Sparks material, I could somehow relate to it because I have gone or am going through what the characters are experiencing or feeling.

And the idea of having a scrapbook to document and share special moments with your child is priceless! I used to do that, keep a scrapbook with little anecdotes of places I've been to, or random thoughts on how I felt at that very moment... sometimes I'll include meaningful poems if I chanced upon them.

I also learnt about high risk pregnancies and Preeclampsia or Toxemia are common. I've heard how the blood poisons the baby and the mother causing complications such as kidney failure, liver cirrhosis, convulsion, etc... not a pleasant sight!

Most importantly, the material stresses the need to prioritise what is most important to you - family, health, integrity, friends and work, which I hope to emulate... time to take stock of things, take it easy at work for the sake of my health and perhaps settle down and start my own family is a good way to start living a more meaningful life? ;)

Shelfari, Cool Stuff!

Recently, Maish introduced me to Shelfari. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first... then I spoke to Regy about it and he immediately subscribed to it.

In retrospect, I gave it a try and realised that I could actually gain much insights from other like-minded readers as well about the books they find of value. Some of them provided really smart insights and different perspective of the materials they've read.

So in essence, we have a meaningful network going on here. If you are keen to see what it is all about, check out my profile and the books I've read, reading and planning to read :)

Sundays at Tiffany's

Over the weekend, I finished reading Sundays at Tiffany's. An easy read but I love the simple plot with the twist in the end. I could truly relate to Jane, the feelings she had growing up and the love-hate relationship she has with her mum. And then there was Michael, oh Michael. If only this world has more of such a man with a beautiful soul like Michael... Wishful thinking? Perhaps not :)

The Choice

I've just finished reading Nich's latest novel, The Choice. As always, Nich never fails to bring tears in my eyes. And coincidentally, the way the story started seems almost a reflection of what I'm going through right now - feelings that surpised me especially that sense of familarity that seems comforting, safe somehow. Could it be kismet? Hmm...

Anyway, back to the material. What I wonder is how many of us take the time to ultimately confront ourselves with the most heartwrenching question of all: how far would we go to keep the hope of love alive? Perhaps for some, you would go to great lengths for love, no hesitation at all, just throw caution to the wind and let love lead the way... and for some its just halfway or somewhere familiar. But one thing for certain the saying "should have been better this or that..." seems to ring true for all...

What I'm driving at is that we all have a choice and sometimes the best decisions we have to make comes from the God given gut feel or intuition. We just have to trust ourselves :)

Conspiracy Theory?

"When the power of love overcomes the love for power, the world will know peace." - Sri Chimnoy Ghose

Thanks to Regy for sharing this nice documentary with me. Let the truth prevails...

PS: Happy birthday to Grams, Dad, Aunt Z, Cousin Nurul, KS & Val and if it matters to you, Happy Father's Day!

Dear John

I finally caught up with my leisure reading and literally surprised myself when I finished reading Dear John in a day! There were a few tear-jerking moments, something which Nich has mastered oh so well. I could relate with the moments of anguish when John was at lost for words or his rebellion while growing up (I must say I was a rebel with a cause as well or at least I'd like to think I was!), or when Savannah wrote those beautiful letters to articulate what's happening in her life while apart from John, or the conflicted feeling of letting go (yes its hard but I admire her courage for knowing when its over), etc.

The material advocates that we should never judge a book by its cover (and its not easy to NOT be judgmental) and to give everyone an equal chance regardless of what the outcome would be. And that communication, honesty and trust are the cornerstones of a stable relationship. Allowing the one you love to grow in order to attain his/her greatest potential speaks of your maturity. Sometimes you just know if someone cares for you just by being, without the need to utter those 3 words.

What I find appealing about Nich's writing is that he always tells beautiful stories while creating awareness about a cause that is close to his heart. For example, I also learnt much about Autism and Asperger's syndrome from this material.

In reality, its rare to find someone with a tender heart who is willing to extend that unconditional love, without owning the girl he loves. People - by human definition - tend to be selfish and perhaps this book raises hope that a John Tyree could be for real :)

Sensible Vigilance

"Its the one who slices the bread that controls its distribution on the bread line. You must be able to recognise all the slight-of-hand trickery of the one operating the slicer... to guard yourself from rationing and perhaps even starvation." - Jack Payne

Today I feel obliged to express my thoughts on an important situation that is rampantly on the rise (it's not the first and it would definitely not be the last) and may we all benefit from this sharing from friends and those close to us... It is pertinent that we share our stories so that we reduce the likelihood of such recurrence... we owe it to ourselves to practise and advocate responsible digital citizenship.

Despite technological advances that present an illusion of security, we are as vulnerable as ever to human trickery i.e. con. And human beings - social creatures that we are - are taught from a very early age that helping others is a worthwhile practice, especially those with whom we most identify.

A good practice to protect your own interest is to always document and keep a record of all that is being said. This is important because loop holes would surface due to inconsistent half-truths.

Stay calm and rational at all time (don't be swayed by emotions), listen intently to the 'life story' which always plays out as being a sad one due to a repertoire of well-rehearsed fictions from which to draw what is needed.

Inspect the photos shared, it would typically contain separate images of his 'family members' instead of one where all are in the same photo (its not that hard to use other people's photos and post them as your own these days).

The conman typically zero in fast and furious (red flags and alarms should be ringing so do not shrug them off, always trust your instincts as it is a God-given gift) in this zero sum game with great ruthlessness in the hope to create and maintain control;

He attempts to gain your confidence and trust early on, usually by tugging at your heartstring by way of affection, he uses the "Us against them" tactic, in the hope that you do not listen to those around you (he even has the guts to ask you to disregard your family) but believe him. And if all else fails, in his desperation, he uses emotional blackmail.

As you record all that is being said, never fail to concurrently research your target before making any decision, especially if he requests for financial assistance by painting a desperate scenario of helplessness... Remember, that the problem is his, not your's and any sensible man would first and foremost seek help from those closer to him like family or friends he has known from years back, not someone he just met a week ago, putting you in an awkward position.

Regardless, always protect your own interest first. I agree that in life, you have to give hope a chance but not at your expense so sensible vigilance always wins as its better to err on the side of caution. I have to thank family and close friends who have been supportive in giving me sound advice. You know who you are :)

In retrospect, I never fail to turn to God, seeking Almighty's guidance ... perhaps this is a test of my love for God above all. And deep down, I feel at peace. Whenever you make a decision for the love of God, it is always the right one. Ameen!

Family Matters

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

16 May 2008:
My cousin is getting engaged on this special day. How I wish I could get away from work to witness this special moment of her's.

15 May 2008:
The long awaited letter confirming my enrolment into MSc Information Studies finally arrived, Subhan Allah!

11 May 2008:
Don't quite get it as to why people would spend one day in a whole year with their mum when they could display their love consistently on a daily basis. Anyway, if it matters to you, here's a tribute to all mothers and happy Pangea day!

2 May 2008:
Post labour day, aunt Z welcomes her son (aka my 30th cousin) into this world, little Muhammad Zul Ilyaas.

PS: Happy birthday to buddy Y.

An Open Letter of Comfort

Friendship is a sheltering tree.

The protective streak in me was on high gear tonight. I felt immense pain yet great pride almost simultaneously. Contradicting? When you have a long history with someone you care loads for, you tend to wanna shield the person from impending danger. But I guess life, with its hard knocks and bumps, makes a person stronger and ultimately better.

My dear, be strong. In an enduring relationship, it takes two to make a genuine effort to commit unconditionally, communicate openly and honestly without taking each other for granted. Its easier said than done but once indifference sets in, its literally a battle lost. Without a doubt, letting go is the right decision... you owe it to yourself to be happy.

With time, that special someone will come knocking when your heart is truly ready. I'm here for you as you take the time to heal.

Save Our Children

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.

It was a wake up call for many after watching The Inconvenient Truth. The reason the movie strikes a chord and brings shivers down your spine is because it was based on cold hard facts.

Let's commemorate World Environment Day on 5 June 2008. Perhaps its time to reflect and change your lifestyle for the better of human kind...

Portrait of a True Muslim...

In the name of Allah
The Most Beneficient, the Most Merciful

When asked by Saydina Ali (k.w.) about his way of life, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) replied:

Meditation in GOD is my capital
Reason and sound logic is the root of my religion
Love is the foundation of my existance
Enthusiasm is the vehicle of my life
Contemplation of GOD is my companion
Faith is the source of my power
Sorrow is my friend
Knowledge is my weapon
Patience is my garb and virtue
Submission to the DIVINE will is my pride
Truth is my salvation
Worship is my habit
And in prayer lies the coolness of my eyes
And the peace of mind

(Hadith)

This is something I endeavour to attain in life... ultimately.

The past weeks have been...

2 April 2008:
My follow-up with my specialist concluded that I will have to wait another year to monitor the 3 Fiffetes and 1 Cystie (yup she popped up out of nowhere this year). The irony was when my specialist asked, "How are you feeling today?", I told her with great honesty that I was feeling great (the regular pilates/yogas/aerobics did some good to my body) .

1 April 2008:
Speaking about re-thinking my position, I received an email from Dubai with a letter of offer. Now I'm really in a dilemma between work, family and studies...

31 March 2008:
My good old friend is back so that means its time to catch up real soon! Meanwhile, I just came back from Carousel at Royal Scotts on the Plaza... It was actually a sad occasion as we bid farewell to a dedicated HOD (she was a tad emotional prior to the dinner)... She would be missed. That means I need to re-think my position as I have a rather bad feeling about the near future...

29 March 2008:
I completed my test and interview for the MSc Information Studies and received a verbal confirmation about the recommendation to enrol me... During the interview, I realised that there was a total of 1500 applications of which 350 were shortlisted for the test and interview and ultimately only 150 would be enrolled * cross my fingers and toes*

21 March 2008:
In the morning of Good Friday, Muhammad Hairil Iqhwan was born without his father by his side... Stay tuned for further details about the second son of Norhisham Isnin.

20 March 2008:
Just came back from my corporate group networking night... Its been awhile since I played pool (was tempted to participate in the Karaoke session but my sensibility got the better of me, thank GOD!) .

14 March 2008:
After the cost-benefit analysis of the divisional retreat, I concluded that the lunch buffet at Kintamani was excellent and thought nothing much about the rest of the day... so you go figure that one out ;P

"Surrender"

This song has a beautiful melody with meaningful lyrics. Below are the translation in English (I hope I did justice to it). Every day of my life, I plead for You to constantly Bestow me with tranquility, instil the resilience in me To face the challenging times that may come my way expectedly I'm sure there's meaning therein You instil hope in me to answer all of life's query Allowing me to live my life calmly with grace and dignity With a deep sense of gratitude, I pray that You will watch over me Bless me with Your compassion and mercy O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Ooo At times I feel like life is a fragile glass Can end up in broken pieces when devoid of patience Steady me to bravely persevere through it all oh Strengthen me, equip me with resilience O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Shower Your blessings on my life O my Lord enlighten my heart that is within me To face the challenges that come my way unexpectedly O my Lord I submit everything to You completely So that my soul is calm with Your guidance, always Ooo

Check your ring fingers!

Another Personality Profile?

Tried out the Personality Profile assessment created by Dr Helen Fischer. Read about me and be the judge if its accurate ;P

You are an executive. You are consistent, reliable, thorough and persevering. You can also be socially charming. So you are good at managing others at home, in your social circles and at work.

You are efficient too. You have high standards and take your duties seriously, focusing carefully on your assignments with sensible and concrete thinking.

You are somewhat traditional. You like people and are generally comfortable with them. You work hard to build and support your family and social networks. You are very protective of those you love.

You respect schedules, rules and routines. Appropriate behavior is generally important to you. Yet you have a streak of the independent thinker in you. As a result, you have a good balance between conventionality and originality.

You are also a good leader. You acquire the perks and status of rank more easily than most. And you handle your possessions gracefully. You also enjoy time alone, pursuing your personal interests.

Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. The Personality Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.

Builder, 30%: Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Calm demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective.

Director, 29%: Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

Explorer, 23%: Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion.

Negotiator, 18%: Excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.

Searching 4 Truth in 1's Heart

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

Don't catch the drift? Its ok. I'm just feeling melancholy tugging at my heart's strings. Richard Marx's "Slipping Away" keeps playing in my mind. Relief from this day forward? Perhaps... God knows what's best for me, Ameen.

Time for ME

Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self - May Sarton

Three weeks back, I received an online wedding invitation from an acquaintance. And today, I witnessed his wedding and finally met his wife. Together with our common friends, I wish him well.

Also today, I received an invitation from a dear friend to come out and take a breather from work. Its always nice catching up with 'old friends'... The 6 weeks stint in Germany would do you some good - clear your mind off the intricacies of the heart... see if independent living suits you well... get a fresh perspective on life... learn a new culture, visit interesting places and meet new friends. Take the opportunity presented with a positive outlook. As the saying goes, "Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises"... You'll never know if it would take you places...I'll see you when you get back :)

Looking back at the past month... I'm glad I got back on track with my health and fitness regime... I now need to decide the future direction of my education and take charge of little Miss Fifis...they are always at the back of my mind... I hope to travel and recuperate in the next few months. I truly need some time for ME!

Reflections...

The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russel.

The chat with mum today was truly meaningful... only your mum would accept and love you without conditions... after all the aches and pains you've caused her. I must admit I was a rebel, but I was not a rebel without a cause...

Tomorrow, we'll end the year with a bang with a party at work... I wished my 'mentor' was there; it would have been great! He's dearly missed by all, the kind soul that he is.

As I watched the fireworks on tv at the stroke of midnight, with sms pouring in via my mobile, like many, I don't believe in making new year resolutions, rather I'd prefer to take small steps, small chances... small but consistent achievements along the way... that would indeed be more meaningful.

Always a Constant

Start with smiles, a generous share, then blend in warmth and laughter. Add lots of happy memories that will last forever after. Don't forget the patience for the days when things go wrong. Add a sense of humor and a trust that's deep and strong. Garnish with some compliments, lovingly expressed... And there you have it - a recipe for friendship at its best!

The year passes by ever so quickly that its hard to imagine that 2008 comes beckoning. Taking a pause to reflect on what I've accomplished for this year, its hard to put it into words... but one thing I'm thankful for is that I was surrounded by people who matter most to me. Work wise, I get the stability I yearn for while doing what I'm passionate about.

Inspite of the fickle weather, today was truly a great day. I'm tempted to pen my thoughts down but instinctively felt that whatever feelings I hold so dear... let it remain a guarded secret in my heart. But allow me to leave you with this heart warming poem (thanks to Sandra Sturtz Hauss) - “These Are My Wishes For You”:

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched and who have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than its form. May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. Find time in each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard you may be more than compensated for in another. What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.

May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments. May you always feel loved.

A list to live by...

The most destructive habit: Worry
The greatest joy: Giving
The worst pastime: Criticism
The best award: Appreciation
The greatest loss: Loss of self respect
The most satisfying work: Helping others
The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness
The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource: Our youth
Our greatest "shot in the arm": Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome: Fear
The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease: Excuses
The most powerful force in life: Love
The most dangerous pariah: A gossiper
The most incredible computer: The brain
The worst company: Privilege seekers
The best company: Holy men
The best thing to be without: Jealousy
The worst thing to be without: Hope
The deadliest weapon: The tongue
The two most powerful words: "I can"
The greatest asset: Faith
The most worthless emotion: Self pity
The most prized possession: Integrity
The most powerful communication channel: Prayer
The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm
The most beautiful attire: A smile

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

The past months were frantic to say the least - juggling work, arabic lessons, family, health, etc. Life has been good to me, Alhamdulillah!

And seeing Mr "I" and his gang doing volunteering work makes me wanna get more involved with volunteerism, Insya Allah. It seems to give him a sense of peace...

Of late, an acquaintance's home crumbled due to the earthquake at Padang, Sumatera. Upon hearing the news, I was 'paralysed' for a split second, "What if I was in his position, would I be strong enough to handle the situation?". My heart went out to him and upon further reflection, it dawned on me that God loves him enough to test him to such extent.

I shared the news with mum and what she said was worthwhile to note - sometimes we fail to see the merits underlying such 'seemingly bad situations'... do not question but embrace every moment as it comes as only the "All Knowing" knows what is best for you. Verdict: That acquaintance of mine is back... he looks calm - he's a good man and I'm confident he would be alright :)

Lastly, I'm thankful that Ramadhan has arrived, providing the opportunity to cleanse my soul yet again. May we benefit from it, Insya Allah!

Bulan Ramadhan - dimana nafas kita menjadi tasbih, tidur kita menjadi ibadah, amal kita diterima dan do'a kita di ijabah. Mata kadang salah melihat, mulut kadang salah berucap, hati kadang salah menduga... Maafkan segala kekhilafan yang pasti ada. Taqqobalahu Minna Waminkum, Taqoballahu Ya Karim

Hellos & Goodbyes

Its been an interesting few months...

I've got to work with M again on our elearning project (he's the best!) and am enjoying myself at work again... its always exciting working with such great talent and insights to elearning, social networks, IA, etc... I learnt alot from this great man.

From one great man to another - bumped into my ex-NIE mate and we have since kept in touch... nice to know he's ready to settle down; thanks for sharing... the info will come in handy when my turn comes, Insya Allah!

My colleagues and my dive pals celebrated my birthday just last week and it was a good catch up session (its becoming a yearly ritual)... Unfortunately another pal could not join us as she bid farewell to her father-in-law who passed away the same week.

Goodbye (not literally though) to two great men - Ust Dr Ade Novli and Ust Ayhan and hello to Ust Saifudeen and Ust Abdul Halim... I especially like the teaching style of Ust Saifudeen - he is soft-spoken yet assertive when needed, systematic yet flexible and versatile... in short a good educator who cares about the welfare of his class... Keep up the good work please.... Yeah, sounds like I'm becoming a fan of his, right? All I can say is credit needs to be given where appropriate *grin*

21 August was the day I said goodbye to Miss Fifi... but with that parting comes the anxious anticipation of the biopsy but I'm prepared to face it, especially with my family and close pals behind me... a follow-up is due early Sep. Wish me luck, folks!

26 August I'll get to attend seminar by Ust Dr Asri and Ust Dr Juanda, also great speakers from across the causeway.

29 August, a good friend from Bangkok will be in town and I'm looking forward to catch up with her after so long...

Come 31 August, a colleague will say goodbye to singlehood and hello to married life. I'm just glad I could be part of the celebration (and pick up tips to a great yet simple wedding).

Stay tuned for more interesting posts ahead...

Choice Theory... I rest my case :P

The last few weeks' observation brought home the point that we are ultimately accountable for our own behaviour. And I stumbled upon this interesting read - Choice Theory

How apt... Aunt Rose used to tell me, if you can't beat them, join them... but instinctively, I don't want to stoop to a level which I personally feel lacks accountability. You don't jump into the deep end just because everyone else does so, do you? On the contrary, you do what you can, to the best of your ability and within the parameters of your control and failing which i.e. if things are back to square one, what do you do?

Its so much easier to jump ship coz some people are undeserving or unworthy of your dedication to work, your integrity to giving the best and professionalism in ensuring quality work gets done within timeframe and budget. Coz the more you stay on to seemingly steer the ship and brave the wind, you are in an unhealthy environment that will reel you in and eat you up ultimately... I admit, that was a rant (sorry, folks). All I can say is the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy... Have faith and things will turn out fine...

Against the wind, older, but no wiser.
I still find myself inextricably running against the wind.
Whilst it could have been easier rowing with the tide.
Something within me beckons! "Do it otherwise! "
Defying instincts, & rejecting the norms.
Living my Life on its edge, I refuse to conform.
Perhaps one day when my time is done.
Laid down to oblivion, my life has just begun!

Poem inspired from Takalah Tan

What a week!

140507:
Mum informed me dad will be back in Singapore after an ordeal in Indonesia. A part of me was glad and hopeful that he had changed for the better. A part of me was sad to find out what he went through the past few years. There was a tinge of suspicion yet a voice whispered forgiveness… Perhaps this is the much needed closure on this episode a man called ‘dad’… Oh God, guide me to the straight path and protect me from hell’s fire.

150507:
The 3 hour gathering was compact with catching up on each other’s lives - V’s second baby girl is due this September (let’s go for 13th), Paul got married this year as planned; Spens to walk down the aisle next (good luck!), Y’s new job seems to bode well for her current married lifestyle. Talk of sideline business came up again… interesting conversation. Spoke to a dear friend in between dinner and dessert; glad mum is doing ok.

160507:
Went back to check on the lil tyke – Irfan…wonder if there is a way to put it tactfully across to his mum not to take food she is allergic to… looking at the eczema on poor Irfan enraged me…I know he is not my child but could you bear seeing the poor tyke itching and not knowing how to communicate the discomfort to people around him? For God’s sake, he’s a baby.

Imagine your hands being tied, your mouth gagged and itch powder poured all over your body - you have no way to scratch or yell out to someone to help you get rid of the itch. Suffering in silence is something no one condones right? I rest my case…

At the end of the day, it boils down to mindfulness… Save the debate about different living standards and definition of hygiene… Any mother would want to protect, nurture and bring up her child in the safest environment possible… that’s what we call motherly instincts.

180507:
Tender closes today and I could already envision the busy months ahead once the project kickstarts end June... So now is the time to really hang loose and de-stress as much as I can... Seeing the way things took a turn this week, all I can say is "Expect the unexpected"... Somehow that seems like an understatement... vibes, folks. Oh how I love it that God loves me so much! Amen...

190507:
NLB’s inaugural Sports Carnival in the morning. Verdict = interesting. Saw my HOD in action - she's really good with ping-pong (those smashes!)... And of course my dear Idah playing soccer with the guys...

Met up with Rye to see how he was doing over brunch. “Certainty”… what was that about? Hmm… Anyway, got to rush home to change and head to class. In between, had an interesting conversation with aunt Sophie… learnt a lot from her about 'marital bliss'. Resolved to take up course on child psychology…

PS: What a week… Grandpa is rather unwell. Stay tuned to find out what will happen in the next Episode on “The Journey back to Batu Pahat”…

Planet Earth...

A variety of deep emotions tugged at my heart strings as I witnessed the hungry polar bear tries his best to spread his weight evenly on the thin glacial ice (that are melting drastically by the seconds due to global warming) as he searched for food... not a bite in weeks while braving the windy ice storm. It could die in such sad conditions any time soon. Not just the polar bears, even the penguins and walrus are fighting for their livelihood. Read the Ice World documentary brief at http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/planetearth/

And to think that it is men, the 'creature of great intelligence of the highest order' in the animal chain that are doing the greatest damage to planet earth. How much longer could we tolerate seeing the sufferings of others? Do we have to wait till the consequence of our action or lack of it (disrespect for the natural order of the world) hits close to home or directly affects those close to us to make a difference? Imagine if you are the dying polar bear... Is that the state you want to die in? What kind of living conditions do we want our future generation to live in? Imagine the worst from now on.

Prevention is better than cure. There needs to be a united global voice to ensure a conducive living condition for our future generation. You may think that we are powerless as individuals and do not feel the need to make a difference and improve the living conditions of all species on planet earth.

If you feel at a loss as to where to start, there are hundreds of websites with great tips: you can start by seriously reducing, reusing and recyling. Check out:
http://www.wastewatch.org.uk/
http://www.wrap.org.uk/
http://www.recyclenow.com/
http://www.wwf.org.uk/

Get involved. There are small changes we can all make which will make a big difference. And if all else fails, in the words of one man, "if you cannot save planet earth, do not breed.You are not helping human kind one bit! Remember, the planet does not need us like we need it for our livelihood."

PS: The image of the dying polar bear haunts me till this day and I can't help but tear up just thinking of it.

Little Miss "Fifi"

Something was amiss when the scan took awhile to complete.
Guess no one knows your body better than yourself...

The report came back 3 weeks later.
Diagnosis - a 15 x 12 x 7 mm right breast fibroadenoma.
Verdict - Not the end of the world.
If this test is a sign of God's love for me, I accept it with open arms.

Surfed the web to find out as much accurate info about it.
Spoke to my family before making an informed decision.
Will remove it... Will get a referral letter soonest possible.

In such a situation, keep an open mind and think positive.
Everything happens for a reason;
God works in mysterious ways...

I hope by sharing this story, my lady pals will go for screening:
- the painless breast ultrasound (if you are below 35) or
- mammogram (if you are above 35).

If you need more info before investing in a screening, read these:
http://www.singaporecancersociety.org.sg/c_breastcancer.htm#H
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/understanding-breast-changes
http://www.healthsearches.org/Categories_of_Q&A/Diagnosis/1370.php http://www.youngsurvival.org/young-women-and-bc/survivor-stories/

Early detection could change the outcome of your life.
You live life just this once... Go for it - you have nothing to lose!
Meanwhile, have a good rest on Labour Day :)

Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of, a blessing money can't buy. - Izaak Walton

the M word...

"You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationship, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. Does this mean you lower your standards when it comes to finding a partner? Absolutely not! It simply means you 'expand your field of vision."

I enjoyed reading the book by Dr Neil Clark Warren and totally agree with his 29 Dimensions... something I wished for at the back of my head; its not about being 'selective' mind you. What a revelation! View the list and make an informed decision yourself:

A. The Screening Dimension:
1. Good character
2. Good self-concept
3. Watch out for red flags
4. Anger management
5. Obstreperousness (harsh, unappreciative, difficult, etc)
6. Understandings about family
7. Good family background

B. Core Personal Dimensions
8. Intellect
9. Similar energy levels
10. Similar spirituality
11. Similar education levels
12. Appearance
13. Sense of humour
14. Mood management
15. Traditional vs Nontraditional personalities
16. Ambition
17. Sexual passion
18. Artistic passion
19. Good values
20. Industrious
21. Curiosity
22. Vitality and security
23. Autonomy vs closeness

C. Skills that can be developed
24. Communication
25. Conflict resolution
26. Sociability

D. Qualities that can be developed
27. Adaptability
28. Kindness
29. Dominance vs submissiveness

Above it all, there must be chemistry and commitment, the glue that keeps it all together.

Seven checkpoints to ask yourself before you make that plunge:
1. Take plenty of time to evaluate your relationship
2. Make sure you are the right age
3. Beware of being over-eager
4. Make yourself happy (above everyone else)
5. Make sure you have a broad spectrum of experiences before marriage
6. Make sure your expectations are realistic before saying "I do"
7. Address any character issues, behavioural problems or personality quirks

A wedding vow is a lifelong pledge to love someone unconditionally (its not easy to love someone, sometimes its tougher to like your partner at certain moments but you still regard your other half as a person of great worth and value), honor someone (treat your partner with respect even when he/she is different from you.. you honor the words and the eye contact with your attention and actions, saying "You are important to me"), cherish someone (treat your partner withh tender affection even under circumstances that aren't easy as it requires self-sacrifice; setting aside your own desires/needs at that moment to better meet the needs of your partner), forsake all others (not something I would reckon but in essence, it means treating your partner as important in your life enough to not play around with voices calling to you from outside the relationship or compromising impulses within you i.e. your partner can have deep and total trust in you), perform all duties (providing physical and emotional protection; all-nurturing relationship at all levels) and most importantly, under every kind of circumstances as long as we both shall live (in plenty and in want, in joy and sorrow; in sickness and in health...)

Squash, Anyone?

My Chief Exec (CE) emailed this across to us today.

Creative, don't you think? :)

Here's wishing you and your loved ones

A year of good health, blissful joy,

peaceful serenity & bountiful prosperity.

What if...

I did a quick personality test and here's the findings; be the judge and see if it is a true reflection of the 'ME' you know:

1.0 TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

1.1 Words that describe you:
Fair, considerate, collaborative, responsive, sensible, diplomatic, contemplative, indulgent and rational

1.2 General description:
You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion.

You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

2.0 CURIOUS

2.1 Words that describe you:
Original, inventive, thinker, brave, eccentric, avant-garde, out-of-touch, unique

2.2 General description:
You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

3.0 VERY RESPONSIVE

3.1 Words that describe you:
Emotional, insightful, perceptive, sensitive, self-conscious

3.2 General description:
Each one of us encounters some hard times; we get caught off guard, or feel a sudden swell of emotion, whether from fear, joy, anger or sadness. Life is just like this sometimes. You know that because you are an emotional person. Some people go to great lengths to keep their emotions under wraps, to keep a stiff upper lip, to not let others know what emotions they are feeling. But that is not you. You embrace all of life's emotions, both the joys and the turmoil that life brings our way.

When you're having fun with a group of friends you don't even try to contain your pleasure; you laugh hard and feel every moment of the conversation because of the joy that comes from the experience. You make very intense friendships; ones where all of the depth of emotions that you feel can be shared. Emotions are such an essential part of your everyday life. You may cry at intense movies or when watching a sad story on the evening news. You get angry, at others or at yourself, and you do not stifle it.

Emotions drive your personality and your relationships - you simply are what you feel. You experience both the highs and the lows more profoundly than most. And you usually relish the intensity of your emotions. For sure you enjoy the positive times. There are those times, though, when your feelings get the best of you and you wonder how you will manage the moment. But because you are so in tune with all of your emotions you will experience something very pleasant and will be able to engage with that positive feeling to again enjoy the wonderful intensity that life brings you.

4.0 FOCUSED

4.1 Words that describe you:
Deliberate, careful, regimented, determined, proactive, obliged, methodical, perfectionist, purposeful

4.2 General description:
Everybody knows they can count on you to do what you promise to do, be where you say you'll be "on time" and finish what you start. If you say you'll chair the committee, you'll come with an agenda and a clear outline of the tasks to be accomplished, give everyone a chance to speak their minds, and then call for a vote on each issue, schedule the next meeting, hand out assignments and adjourn at the appointed time. You like order and discipline, and use these to methodically accomplish whatever goals you have set for yourself and for others. And you have a strong sense of obligation if you accept responsibility, you are proactive; you take it on with a single-minded commitment, as if you've pledged your allegiance to the assigned task. People know that they can depend on you.

Your personal life is also one of order and discipline. You are likely to have a pretty firm schedule, and to stick to it. You make time for your friends, but not at the expense of your work duties. You can be talkative and funny in social situations, but seldom out of control. In fact, you are pretty careful; you seldom, if ever, cross the line into impulsive behavior, and you are even careful to control how much of your inner world you disclose, even to your close friends. You keep yourself in check because you don't want whatever mess might be inside you to leak out into conversation or make a mess of a relationship. There are things to accomplish in life, both at work and in your social world, and you don't want to let unnecessary clutter hamper your drive to get all of it done, and done well.

5.0 SOMETIMES OUTGOING, SOMETIMES RESERVED

5.1 Words that describe you:
Moderate, amiable, laid-back, temperate, relaxed, poised, civil, uncommitted, pleasant

5.2 General description:
Lucky you! You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends. You also equally enjoy your own company, whether sitting in a favorite chair with your book and soft music playing or meandering in the woods by yourself. You like coming home to your family or your roommate; but if no one is home, you find quiet, solitary time to be just as pleasurable. What a great combination to enjoy being outgoing and to be just as comfortable being reserved.

Because you are so amiable and relaxed, you are comfortable with almost any group of family or friends. Whether they are pumped up and lively or calm and subdued, you remain at ease. If someone needs to take over the conversation, you are comfortable taking the lead; you can also lay back and let someone else be in charge. If the conversation gets rowdy, your moderate demeanor will often draw it down to a more temperate level. If someone in the group loses their cool, you will most likely maintain your poise, and if they get nasty you know how to keep a civil tongue.

You may find yourself out of balance on occasion. If you're alone too much, you may need to get in touch with someone. If you spend too much time with your family and friends, you may need to sneak off for a day by yourself, to putter and read and clear your head of the noise of too much conversation. When you're at your best, you live with a rhythm of time with others, time alone, time with others, time alone It's a satisfying, comfortable balance. Lucky you!